Pirates, Bunny Rabbits, and Dog Slobber
by Jenny7
Summary: The fun never stops when Romano throws a Halloween party for the ER Staff.


Disclaimer: I do not own ER. I just like to borrow the characters and make them do cool things in my stories. Is   
there any harm in that? =)  
  
Authors Note: I hope you all like this. There's not too much to say except that it's my own little version of an ER   
Halloween party....hosted by the rocket himself! Its a little disjointed at times, but I just write what   
the voices tell me to. =) Enjoy.  
  
  
  
"PIRATES, BUNNY RABBITS, & DOG SLOBBER."  
  
  
"Gretel get your nose out of the dip!" Romano snapped at the canine, who just looked up at him and whined. Scurrying over to the table, he considered what to do with the tainted spread. Finally, coming to a conclusion, he picked up a plastic spoon and stirred it around a few times. "They'll never notice."   
This was not a normal day in the Romano household. It was the night of his big Halloween party, and everyone on staff in the ER and OR of County General was coming. Or they had better be, or else Romano would be handing out some pink slips.   
He hurried back into the master bedroom and retrieved the last piece of his costume. Placing the little red horns on his head, he grinned at himself in the mirror.   
"Lookin' sharp Rocket!" He declared and wiped at a dirt spot above his lip. The sound of the doorbell alerted him to the arrival of his first guest.   
  
OUTSIDE:  
  
  
  
"I don't see why we couldn't just make up some excuse. We could have easily used the baby." Elizabeth declared. "The last person I want to see on Halloween night is Robert Romano." She adjusted her Minnie mouse ears.   
"Must I remind you that Romano could make our lives a living hell if we decided not to show up? I, for one, can take one night of pain as long as Romano stays out of my face at work." Mark argued as he pulled up his red overalls. "And why did we have to be Mickey and Minnie again? Red is NOT my color."   
"Oh stop your complaining Mark." Elizabeth scolded just as Romano opened the door.   
"Well happy Halloween kids...or should I say rodents?" He greeted them and motioned for them to come inside.   
"Happy Halloween to you too Robert." She observed his costume. "And where may I ask is your costume?" He laughed in response.   
"Clever Lizzie. I see Greene hasn't sucked all the life out of you yet." Mark just glared at him.   
"Come on Elizabeth, I think I need a drink." They headed towards the refreshment table.   
  
Romano was about to shut the door when two other familiar faces appeared in his front yard.   
  
"Oh come on Abby where's your sense of humor!" John Carter joked as he lowered the patch onto his right eye.   
"Oh yea Carter it's very funny to make me believe your bleeding to death!" She replied, flipping a bunny ear out of her eye.   
"Oh we've seen worse in the ER! Besides, a pirate would not be complete with his trusty hook." He displayed his plastic hook with pride.   
"Ah, Mr. Carter and Miss Lockhart. Glad you could join us." Romano said from the doorway. They climbed the stairs reluctantly.   
"Our pleasure Dr. Romano. I assure you there is no place scarier then your house on Halloween night." Carter joked as he and Abby headed towards the refreshments. "...or any night!" He whispered to Abby, who laughed loudly.   
  
As if on cue, Luka appeared at Romano's doorstep. On his arm was a young blonde woman wearing a ballerina costume. Romano chuckled.   
"Good evening Kovac...love the costume. So, have you always been a trekkie?" Luka just stared at him in confusion.   
"A what?" The girl next to him giggled and he continued to wear a blank stare.   
"Never mind. Come in, make yourselves at home." He gestured inside and Luka and his date followed.   
"What is a trekkie?" He whispered to his date, who continued to giggle.   
  
INSIDE:  
Soon the party was in full swing and most of the guests were huddled around the refreshment table.   
"You have to admit, the guy knows how to decorate." Carter commented to Mark and Elizabeth.   
"Well his costume certainly suits him don't you think?" Elizabeth commented. "He's finally showing his true form." They all agreed on that.   
Romano hadn't noticed them talking about him. He was just having a good time, dancing with Luka's date.   
"Oh Robert, your such an incredible dancer. Did you ever take dance classes?" She asked as he swung her around to the music.   
"No my dear, what you see here is just raw talent. You see we Ramano's are very fortunate to be blessed with great balance and coordination. Its in the gene's." He bragged. She giggled.   
Luke stood in the corner with a pout on his face as he watched the action. First he lost his girlfriend, and now his date. He decided America wasn't all it was cracked up to be.   
"Nice costume." He turned to see Randi next to him. "My roommate dressed up as one of the ewoks last year. Won a contest."   
"She dressed up as what?!" Luka questioned, talking loudly to compete with the music.   
"Never mind. Like my costume?" She asked as she twirled in a circle.   
"Very nice Randi. Steal that from County?" He referred to her white coat and stethoscope.   
"Hardly. I made this myself. See since I started working in the ER I noticed that the doctor's uniform is very plain and unflattering. So I made my own line. I call it Randi's Medical Wear. I may even find a way to make it blood proof!" She explained. Luka looked on, interested.   
"Really?"   
"Yep. Soon, they'll be paying me to sketch my designs on duty."   
  
  
  
MEANWHILE....BACK AT THE PUNCH BOWL  
  
  
"How's it going Carter?" Peter Benton walked up to him. He turned and grinned.   
"Hey Dr. Benton. Cool costume!" Benton wore a leisure suit and a large afro wig. Large gold chains hung around his neck.   
"Thanks. Yours isn't bad either."   
"Yea well I never realized how difficult it would be to live without a hand." He displayed his hook again. "From now on I'm going to be much more sympathetic when I have to amputate something." Benton just shook his head and smirked.   
"How's the food?" He asked, scanning the room quickly.   
"Not bad. Although I wouldn't try the dip if I were you. Tastes like dog slobber." He warned as he inserted a chip into the dip and then into his mouth.   
"Sounds like a wild party." Benton replied.   
"Oh the fun has only begun now that Father Dave has entered the building!" Out of nowhere Dave appeared behind the two, with a costume that attracted much attention. Carter choked on his carrot stick and Benton had to slap his back so he could breathe. Both men began laughing.  
"What?" Dave asked innocently.   
"That costume...that is so you Dave!" Carter explained between laughs. Dave looked down at his white collar and black pants and shirt combo. A large wooden cross hung from his neck and a beanie sat upon his head.   
"Yea well I was thinking of something a little more...well...revealing but I saw this and realized that this is the ultimate in sexy!" He explained.   
"How do you figure that Malucci?" Benton asked.   
"Are you kidding Dr. Pete? Chicks dig this kind of thing. You know...they always want what they can't have. It drives them crazy!" He explained. Carter was still holding back laughter.   
"Maybe you should consider joining on a more permanent basis Dave." Carter joked.   
"Sure sure...laugh now. You'll see." He turned and noticed Jing Mei approaching. "Watch this." The other two remained silent.   
"Hey Jing Mei...if you grant me a wish I'll consider going against my vows..." She looked him up and down before responding.   
"Sorry Father...I don't date men in Beanies." She looked towards Carter and Benton and smiled.   
"Ha ha she got you Dave!" Carter teased. He looked dejected for only a moment.   
"I'm gonna have girls begging to have me by the end of the night...then you'll be asking I Dream of Jing Mei here to grant you a few wishes!" He replied and smirked as he stormed off towards the living room. They watched him leave and Jing Mei spoke up.  
"Nice costumes guys. I especially like that hair Dr. Benton!" She pointed to his afro.   
"It's all the rage." He said with a chuckle. "I'll catch you guys later." He noticed Cleo enter and headed towards her.   
"So...you don't happen to know where I can get a dance partner do you? I mean...since you do have magic powers and all." Carter implied.   
"I don't recall pirates and genies ever really dancing together Carter." He smiled sadly in response. "But...I can make an exception if you promise not to poke me with the hook." He laughed.   
"I'll be very careful." They headed out towards the living room.   
  
Romano excused himself from the clutches of Luka's ballerina when he heard the doorbell. Racing to the door, he saw Kerry Weaver on the other side.   
"Kerry, wonderful of you to join us. Please step inside." She entered with a scowl on her face.   
"I'm sorry I'm late Robert. Somebody had to hold up the ER." She glanced at his attire. "Nice choice of a costume."   
"Thank you thank you. And what might I ask would be you masquerading as tonight?" She smirked in annoyance at his comment.   
"I'm a witch Robert." She started into the house.   
"Couldn't be more right about that Kerry." He replied to her back. Without looking back she flipped him the finger.   
  
IN THE LIVING ROOM....  
  
Carter and Jing Mei are dancing and Abby is reluctantly dancing with Dave. Luka is watching Abby dance with Dave and scowling more every second.   
Peter approached Cleo slowly.   
"Nice costume." He referred to her black cat attire.   
"Thanks Peter. Yours isn't too bad either." He laughed.   
"Yea, well this wig brings back some memories."   
"I'm sure it does." She replied coldly. Only an uncomfortable silence followed as they watched the others dance.   
  
  
"Hey Kerry." She looked up from her spot on the couch to see Mark.  
"Hey Mark. Nice mouse ears." She commented. He rolled his eyes and sat next to her.   
"Elizabeth's idea. She has this thing with Disney characters." Kerry laughed.   
"Where is Elizabeth now?"   
"Oh I don't know. Probably on the phone with the babysitter, for the fifth time tonight." They both laughed.   
  
"Hey Carter! Did you ever hear the joke about the priest and the bunny rabbit?" Dave yelled to his friend, who was dancing with Jing Mei next to him.   
"Say another word Malucci and your going to get a bunny ear right up your..."  
"Don't give him the satisfaction Abby!" Carter interrupted her insult. "So where's all those women you were talking about earlier Dave...or should I say Fr. Dave?"   
"They'll be here Carter...Fr. Dave never tells a lie." He smirked in reply.   
  
As if on command, Chuny, Lydia, Helah entered the room. Following behind them was Malik, looking stylish in his toga and Bill Clinton mask.   
"And there they are now!" Dave stated and ran off, leaving Abby without a partner. Recognizing this, Jing Mei excused herself leaving Carter and Abby alone.   
  
"Hello ladies, are you ready to party?" Dave said with a proper bow.   
"With a priest? Sorry Dave, I don't plan on going to hell." Chuny said as she adjusted her ruby slippers and braids.   
"Uh oh Dave...shot down by Dorothy. That can't be good." Jing Mei chimed in.   
"Excuse me Genie, but you've already expressed your disinterest in this man of the church. I think Romano is looking for a dance partner." Dave insulted her.   
"Oh I think I can do better then that. Good luck ladies, your gonna need it." Jing Mei waved and headed towards the kitchen.   
"So ladies..." Dave began.   
"Sorry Fr. I'm a married woman. And I know the church would not approve of that!" Lydia smiled as she adjusted her halo.   
"Helah?" Dave tried one last desperate attempt.  
"Don't even think about it Malucci. You are not my prince charming." Helah grinned as she lifted her Snow White dress and followed Lydia.   
"What is with these County General women!" Dave shouted to no one in particular.   
"I've asked myself that same question many a time Malatucci." Romano appeared behind him. "They just don't spot a good catch, even when its right in front of them. Come along, I'll show you what I do when I have woman troubles." Romano led him in another direction.   
  
Another Room:  
Jing Mei Chen watched her reflection in the door window as she carefully applied another line around her lips. Looking down, she reinserted the lip stick tube into her purse and pulled out her mascara. Preparing to apply it, she looked back up towards the window.   
"What the..!" She shouted as she noticed someone, or something, staring back at her. There was a knocking at the door and she put her hand to her chest to calm her racing heart.   
"Hey! Let me in!" Only after the voice sounded did she realize that her mirror was really the front door. Opening the door, she let the rat inside.   
"Thank you! Its about time." The rat replied.  
"I was just..." then she realized something. "Hey...who are you and what gives you the right to talk to me like that!"   
Without another word the rat lifted its head to reveal a disgruntled Dale.   
"Dale! Why are you wearing a rat costume?" Jing Mei asked suspiciously. He seemed to tense at her question.  
"It's not a RAT; it's a weasel." He replied.  
"Right..." She nodded her head slowly.   
"What were you doing just standing there anyway, this is a party isn't it?" He asked, surveying his surroundings.   
"I was putting on my makeup. Somebody has been locked in the bathroom for the past fifteen minutes." She complained. Just as she finished her comment a presence stepped out from the bathroom.   
"Was somebody looking for the bathroom?" Elizabeth said.  
"Oh, I was." Jing Mei replied simply.   
"I'm sorry Jing Mei. I was just...um...fixing up my costume." She tried to hide the portable phone behind her back.   
"Oh it's ok Dr. Corday. No problem." She smiled and hurried into the bathroom.   
"Hello Dale. Nice rat costume." She said sincerely and went into the other room.   
"It's NOT a RAT!" He shouted after her.  
  
2 HOURS LATER...  
  
  
The party was winding down and guests were beginning to leave. Carter had grabbed his and Abby's coats and was searching the room with his eyes.   
"Hey Carter. Nice costume." Mark said as he picked up his and Elizabeth's coats.   
"Thanks Dr. Greene. Yours is um..." He began.  
"Mickey Mouse. It's Mickey Mouse Carter."   
"Right." They walked out towards the living room. "So some party huh?"   
"Yea, a classic Romano party. Have to admit the guy can make some good dip though." He said as he passed a hungry Gretel. The dog whined.   
"Where is the little devil anyway?" Peter asked, overhearing their conversation.   
"Who knows? Lets just sneak out of here while we still can." Abby commented, taking her coat from Carter.   
"Count me in on that." Jing Mei appeared smiling.  
"So did she burp yet? Well make sure you pat her gently, but with enough force. Dana...did you hear what I said?" Elizabeth appeared, still holding Romano's phone to her ear.   
"Come on honey, Ella is waiting for us at home." He led her to the door, wrapping her coat around her shoulders and smiling. They started towards the door.  
"Wait a minute...where's Dave?" Carter asked curiously. The others looked around.   
"Oh, last I saw he was talking to Robert." Kerry answered, grabbing her coat.   
  
Suddenly, loud laughter was heard from a closet door nearby. Curiously, Mark approached the door.   
The others looked on with a mix of curiosity and dread.   
With one forceful movement Mark pulled the door open. The group just stared in amazement at what they saw before them.   
Romano, socks hanging off of his horns, was holding a bottle of scotch. Crouched on the floor next to him was Dave...unable to control his persistent laughter.   
"Hey everybody! Fr. Dave has officially retirrred frrrom the...the..."   
"Clergy?" Carter finished.  
"Hey! You had no right tooo finnishh myyy sentencesss." He giggled. Romano stood up on wobbly legs and attempted to remain in control.  
"OK everybody the show is overr. There's nothing to see heree. You've all had your fun so go home." He slurred his words, but seemed more sober then Dave. He looked around the group and noticed Elizabeth; phone still glued to her ear. "Greene gett yourr wifffe off of my phone before she addss another hundred to my billl."   
"I have to go now Dana." Elizabeth said simply and hung up the phone. Shock and amusement still spread across her face.   
"I think we all have to go now." Mark said as he shut the door. Laugher ignited from the group as soon as the door was closed. "Come on, let's get out of here before they sober up!"   
"I think that's gonna take a few days!" Jing Mei joked.   
"We're just gonna leave Dave here?" Abby asked innocently.  
"Better just to leave him. Let him learn his lesson." Mark replied.   
"What I wouldn't give to see his face when he wakes up tomorrow morning!" Carter added. The others laughed at his comment.   
The group approached the front door to find a large rat standing next to it.   
"What's with the rat?" Abby asked.   
"Will somebody please help me! My damn tail is stuck in the door!" The voice shouted. Jing Mei and Elizabeth shared a laugh.  
"Dale?" Carter asked, not believing the voice he'd heard. Removing the head revealed a very upset surgeon.   
"Will somebody please help me open this door!" He shouted again.   
"Relax Dale. We'll get you out." Peter said, suppressing a chuckle. He, Carter, and Mark joined in and tugged on the door with all their strength. However, it wouldn't budge. After a few tries, the men stepped back.   
"Well keep trying!" He shouted.   
"The doors not moving. You'll have to take off the suit." Mark finally said. Dale turned pale.   
"I, uh..." He paused. "I can't."   
"Why not?" Benton asked. Dale scratched his head.  
"Because..." He mumbled something that only those close to him could hear.   
"Ugh...Dale what were thinking?" Carter asked. "That's just..."   
"Disgusting!" Jing Mei finished.   
"Well, I don't know about you guys but I have to get home." Mark suggested.   
"Me too." Kerry joined in. "Come on lets go out the back door." She led them away.   
"Hey wait! You can't leave me here!" Dale shouted. "I only did it for you Deb!" He shouted.   
"My name is NOT Deb!" She shouted her reply. Then mumbled something. "What a weasel." But, unknown to her, weasel's have excellent hearing and Dale heard every word.   
"Yes! Yes! I AM a weasel! Finally, SOMEBODY GETS IT!"   
  
They left, thankful to have survived the night.  
  
  
THE END.  
  
  



End file.
